Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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