I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
