glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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