The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
