after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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