I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
