the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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