We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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