Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize