my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
where am i from again
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
