There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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