is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So vagazzling was a success
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
