Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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