I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
