okay pat passed out under dana's car
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
3pm strippers are depressing
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
