Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
