everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
