That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
