Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
someone threw a dead crab at me
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
