so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
