dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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