I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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