she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Even my vagina gasped.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
