Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
