That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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