You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
