i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We left the knife in your bed.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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