Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
