theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
