the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
