i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize