You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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