she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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