You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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