my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
