I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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