Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
