Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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