i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize