Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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