Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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