Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
