tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
