Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
