don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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