Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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