fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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