Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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