I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
