so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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