so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Floor bacon is actually really good
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
