i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Randomize
