Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
