Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
