I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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