so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
