Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
