I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
