ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
